On Racist Encounters

As I have mentioned throughout this blog, I have never been a victim blatant of racism.

That changed about two weeks ago and it happened three times.

The first incident happened in when I went to visit a friend of mine in Boston of all places. To put things into context, my friend did not inform her flatmate that I was going to be visiting and staying with her for a few days. My friend is Asian and her flatmate is white. So when her flatmate saw me (I was alone in the flat at the time), she was visibly shaken and she just happened to have a knife in her hand. The look in her eyes very much alarmed me. You could see the look of fear, disgust, horror in her face. I almost wish she called the cops rather than me having to stare at the mixture of emotions on her face. After I introduced myself, she asked where my friend was and I told her she was out. The flatmate quickly ran to her room and slammed the door shut.

I know I would be scared if I came home and a stranger was lounging in my flat. But I would have questioned them and have the cops on dial if I genuinely felt scared or threatened. I also know my friend was in the wrong for not informing her flatmate about my visit but the look on her face made me feel like an alien. It was as if I didn’t belong in her presence. It was a very unsettling feeling. When I informed my friend about my interaction with her flatmate, she apologised to me and went to talk to her flatmate. Later that day, we talked about how my race played a role in the flatmate’s response. Would she have had that look on her face if I was white or Asian?. I reckon we will never know but the expression on her face is forever burned in my head. I’ve never had someone look at me that. I’ve never felt less than human. If looks could kill…

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2 Year Anniversary

Exactly two years ago, I created this blog to be a kind of cathartic experience for things happening in my life. I didn’t know what my blog was going to be and I honestly still do not know what type of direction this blog is headed.

I can’t believe that I have kept this blog open for more than a year. My previous experiences with blogging is filled with abandonment as I will randomly stop writing and delete the numerous blogs I created. So will I abandon this blog? I don’t really know…[lets hope I don’t abandon it].

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The Case for Intra-Racial Relationships

In my previous post, I was wondering about a personal issue. The issue was mostly about interracial relationships and don’t think I talked enough about intra-racial gay relationships. This is going to be a relatively short post about my thoughts on intra-racial relationships amongst gay people of colour.

The current media landscape has come along way in showing gay relationships. Most relationships are either interracial or intra-racial. The intra-racial relationships are of the caucasian kind. The validation of gay relationship among other racial minorities, however, is hard to come across in the media. Wouldn’t it be nice if a prominent gay person of color was dating someone of his race? I honestly believe more people would be able to see that such relationships are possible, real, and beautiful. We see it almost everywhere in the straight media so why can’t we see that in the gay media?

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For this week’s song, I decided to go with Leave Your Lover by Sam Smith. As the title suggests, the song is a passionate plea for Smith’s crush (?) to leave their lover and be with him instead. Sam’s voice is magical and he’s been dubbed the male version of Adele. The video also raises questions about Sam’s sexuality. Most people have been speculating that he is gay for quite some time but he had been mum on the subject of his sexuality. But I think the video handled the question of his sexuality very well.

Regardless of his sexuality, he deserves and mainstream success and he is very talented. His debut album In the Lonely Hour hit the stores yesterday in the UK and 17th June in the U.S. I have already downloaded the album via iTunes as I have a UK iTunes account and I am absolutely in love. So far it is the best album of 2014 on my list. Enjoy!

Sam Smith – Leave Your Lover

On Attraction

enhanced-buzz-wide-17756-1392314591-15“Do you even like Black  guys?”

“Of course I do”

“Really, I always thought you don’t like black guys”

“Oh my goodness, like seriously”

“Yeah, I mean all the guys you’ve dated are white”

“That does not mean I don’t like Black guys and for your information I have hooked up with guys of almost every race except for Native Americans…I think”

“Wait. Wow so is it true about ummm what they say about Asian guys…like the size”

The aforementioned snippet is a conversation I had with my older sister when Michael Sam (the first openly gay man drafted to the NFL) kissed his boyfriend on national television. It was simply adorable. Everyone round me knows that I find interracial couples and relationships very fascinating. As a kid, I wanted to be part of an interracial family and used to envy my friends and relatives who had one parent of a different race.

While majority of people watching Michael Sam kiss his boyfriend on TV were nonchalant, others sighed as Michael Sam became just another Black athlete with a white significant other. It is also worth nothing that all three of the newly openly gay Black male athletes are in interracial relationships. What were the odds?!

Looking back on my dating life, my sister was right. I have only dated mostly white guys. Is it because I am stuck on the whole idea of interracial pairings that I refuse to date people of other races? Alternatively, when I see gay people of colour in relationships I get giddy because they are rarely shown in the media. I used to visit a tumblr blog solely dedicated to showing Black gay couples and queer couples of colour.

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Watch the UN’s first Bollywood music video for gay rights! The video, “The Welcome”, tells the story of a young man who brings his boyfriend home to meet his family for the first time. It stars Bollywood actress and former Miss India Celina Jaitly, who was last year named a UN Free & Equal Equality Champion for her support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) communities

This video is insanely adorable and I am glad the UN is spearheading this wonderful initiative

The Welcome – United Nations Free & Equal

I have decided to bring my “Song of the Week” posts from facebook to this blog. This week’s song is Do It Again by Röyksopp & Robyn.

The song first played on BBC Radio 1 last Friday and I feel in love on first listened and already addicted. I am losing myself to this mesmerizing electro synth hypno-bonanza. The song is hypnotic. I have currently played it 70 times in my library and the song was released for download yesterday…

Hope you enjoy it as much as I am right now.

Röyksopp & Robyn – Do It Again

On Crushes…

I have always said I will ever fall for a straight guy because nothing is worse in this world than unrequited love or affections. Don’t get me wrong I appreciate the sight of a handsome man regards of orientation but the attention stops there.

As an undergraduate, I had a crush on a professor who I thought was gay but turns out he was not. I recently got the opportunity to work with him on a project and now the crush is back. Having a crush (or whatever the feeling is…) at this stage in my life feels weird. I know he is married with children so nothing can and will ever happen. My sister always says I smile and I appear to be terribly excited every time I work with him.

Over the last few weeks, we’ve gotten to know each other and he teases me (granted he also teases everyone at work) quite a bit now and he even got me a cupcake for lunch. Everyone knows that cupcakes are the loves of my life. Nothing comes close to my love for cupcakes. Absolutely no one comes between me and my cupcakes…

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On External Validation

Imagine my surprise when I got the email (shown below) in my mailbox.
Click on image to zoom
Screen Shot 2014-02-24 at 10.22.27

My initial reactions were:
1. OKCupid did not find me “attractive” before?
2. So OkCupid hid all the “attractive” people from me.
3. Wow OKCupid thinks I’m “attractive”.

After I calmed down and shared this “exciting” news with my friends, they were not surprised as they claimed I’m a very attract person. I laughed at their response as they are my friends and it is their lifelong bound duty to say such things.

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