2 Year Anniversary

Exactly two years ago, I created this blog to be a kind of cathartic experience for things happening in my life. I didn’t know what my blog was going to be and I honestly still do not know what type of direction this blog is headed.

I can’t believe that I have kept this blog open for more than a year. My previous experiences with blogging is filled with abandonment as I will randomly stop writing and delete the numerous blogs I created. So will I abandon this blog? I don’t really know…[lets hope I don’t abandon it].

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The Case for Intra-Racial Relationships

In my previous post, I was wondering about a personal issue. The issue was mostly about interracial relationships and don’t think I talked enough about intra-racial gay relationships. This is going to be a relatively short post about my thoughts on intra-racial relationships amongst gay people of colour.

The current media landscape has come along way in showing gay relationships. Most relationships are either interracial or intra-racial. The intra-racial relationships are of the caucasian kind. The validation of gay relationship among other racial minorities, however, is hard to come across in the media. Wouldn’t it be nice if a prominent gay person of color was dating someone of his race? I honestly believe more people would be able to see that such relationships are possible, real, and beautiful. We see it almost everywhere in the straight media so why can’t we see that in the gay media?

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On Attraction

enhanced-buzz-wide-17756-1392314591-15“Do you even like Black  guys?”

“Of course I do”

“Really, I always thought you don’t like black guys”

“Oh my goodness, like seriously”

“Yeah, I mean all the guys you’ve dated are white”

“That does not mean I don’t like Black guys and for your information I have hooked up with guys of almost every race except for Native Americans…I think”

“Wait. Wow so is it true about ummm what they say about Asian guys…like the size”

The aforementioned snippet is a conversation I had with my older sister when Michael Sam (the first openly gay man drafted to the NFL) kissed his boyfriend on national television. It was simply adorable. Everyone round me knows that I find interracial couples and relationships very fascinating. As a kid, I wanted to be part of an interracial family and used to envy my friends and relatives who had one parent of a different race.

While majority of people watching Michael Sam kiss his boyfriend on TV were nonchalant, others sighed as Michael Sam became just another Black athlete with a white significant other. It is also worth nothing that all three of the newly openly gay Black male athletes are in interracial relationships. What were the odds?!

Looking back on my dating life, my sister was right. I have only dated mostly white guys. Is it because I am stuck on the whole idea of interracial pairings that I refuse to date people of other races? Alternatively, when I see gay people of colour in relationships I get giddy because they are rarely shown in the media. I used to visit a tumblr blog solely dedicated to showing Black gay couples and queer couples of colour.

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On Crushes…

I have always said I will ever fall for a straight guy because nothing is worse in this world than unrequited love or affections. Don’t get me wrong I appreciate the sight of a handsome man regards of orientation but the attention stops there.

As an undergraduate, I had a crush on a professor who I thought was gay but turns out he was not. I recently got the opportunity to work with him on a project and now the crush is back. Having a crush (or whatever the feeling is…) at this stage in my life feels weird. I know he is married with children so nothing can and will ever happen. My sister always says I smile and I appear to be terribly excited every time I work with him.

Over the last few weeks, we’ve gotten to know each other and he teases me (granted he also teases everyone at work) quite a bit now and he even got me a cupcake for lunch. Everyone knows that cupcakes are the loves of my life. Nothing comes close to my love for cupcakes. Absolutely no one comes between me and my cupcakes…

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On External Validation

Imagine my surprise when I got the email (shown below) in my mailbox.
Click on image to zoom
Screen Shot 2014-02-24 at 10.22.27

My initial reactions were:
1. OKCupid did not find me “attractive” before?
2. So OkCupid hid all the “attractive” people from me.
3. Wow OKCupid thinks I’m “attractive”.

After I calmed down and shared this “exciting” news with my friends, they were not surprised as they claimed I’m a very attract person. I laughed at their response as they are my friends and it is their lifelong bound duty to say such things.

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On Internalised Racism

People always claim that everyone is a tad bit racist. I wonder how many experience internal racism?

A few weeks ago, I got into a semi argument with a professor and I realized that I may have racist attitudes towards people of my own race.

The argument started when the professor claimed that the French language will soon become an African language as there are more people who speak French on the African continent than France itself.

While we discussed the postcolonial repercussions of such analysis, I said, I would prefer if French remained a European language rather than have Africa claim it as one of its own.

The conversation then moved into a peculiar direction, when the professor claimed, that African francophones will take over Paris in the not so distant future and I replied by saying that if that ever happens I will avoid Paris.

The professor said why would I say such things since I am of African origins and that makes me kind of makes me racist if not xenophobic.

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On Being Lucky

One of best friends from high school often proclaimed that I was a very lucky person.
Her reasons were;
a) My family was/is relatively well off,
b) I got to attend a very prestigious school for my undergraduate studies,
c) I got the chance to study abroad (twice),
d) I got to travel and “see” the world from a young age, and
e) Everyone appears to love me

I often argued that I wasn’t lucky but I seized numerous opportunities that happened to cross my path. Yet she always insisted that I was one of the few lucky people she had met in her life. Usually I will argue with her by stating that I am pragmatic person but lately, I have accepted that fact that I am indeed a lucky (or perhaps a privileged) person in some aspects of my life.

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On Being Back

It has been about two weeks since I returned back to the United States from London and I still feel disoriented. The US feels peculiar and I’m still experiencing some sort of [reverse] culture shock.

I encountered this same feeling when I return to the US from Switzerland in 2011. Don’t get me wrong, it feels good to be back but can’t help thinking that I should have tried harder to get a job and remain in London. I blame the UKBA…

I was fortunate enough to get a temporary job at my alma mater before I returned back to the US thus I started work the first few days I got back. This interim job is to keep me employed till I find a “better” job. It is really difficult for me to accept the reality of being back in the US. The cold winter weather is not helping me acclimatise at all.

I miss London terribly. Take me back!

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The Art of Letting Go

It’s always fascinating to think that I always thought I will end up with a broken heart and be inconsolable. So imagine my surprise when I was the one who ended things with a someone who I could see myself having a great future with? 

In one of my posts from the summer (see post), I wrote about how I had met the Banker and we were starting a relationship. Initially, things were going on well and we both couldn’t get enough of each other (sounds very clichéd). He was a very good cuddler and he had a knack to make me laugh uncontrollably. Funny thing is that I wasn’t in love with him but I could see my self falling for him as the days went by. 

So what went wrong?

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On Mediocrity

I just received official ratification of my masters degree. I can officially say that I have a Masters of Science (MSc.) degree. Based on my grades, my degree was awarded with merit (which is an equivalent of an overall grade of B/B+). Looking at the grades of all my modules, I realised that there were some classes I did better than expected, other classes, I did not do so well.

While I was surprised at some of my grades, I was finally able to admit to myself that I was aiming for mediocrity the entire time. I just wanted to pass after the coursework got harder. I could have done so much better if I had procrastinated less, changed some studying habits and sought assistance from my tutors.

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