On Sex

Sex is one of those things in life that once you start having (doing?) it is almost impossible to give up. Its like the forbidden fruit as in once you taste it, you want more. Sure there are ways engage in sexual activities without becoming a nymphomaniac. I bet it is universally agreed that sex plays a crucial role in the world whether its for procreation or simply for fun.

Most people appear to be dumbfounded once I reveal to them that its been more than a year since I had sex. They think its incomprehensible that a guy like me (whatever the hell that mean) hasn’t had sex in over year. As a young adult, they find it very unusual since my generation and culture are obsessed with sex Even my sister says I am becoming a virgin yet she also insists that I should save myself for marriage.

I had numerous opportunities to engage in sexual relations with other people over the summer but I refused. One person in particular really wanted to have sex with me so badly that he went through with my 5+ dates rule but I after I still said I wouldn’t have sex with him (which mind you he knew from the start), he stopped talking to me. Another one also wanted to engage in cybersex but I refused him as well. He jokingly once told me that I am a weird person for not wanting to have sex.

I am no virgin by any means and a quick glance at this blog will indicate that I am a very sexual person. So why is my sex life so lackluster? My default response is to say that I only want to have sex with one person (for the rest of my life??) and that I find hookups to be incredibly passé.

While those reasons are true, I also find myself resisting sex because the last time I had sex with another person was one of the best (if not the best) sexual experiences I’ve had in my life and I feel that subsequent sexual encounters will not be up to par. I realise that its a daft reason not to have sex but I can’t help it. Additionally, I also discerned that I want the emotional attachment that comes with sex.

Prior to my ex, I used to be very adamant that I can separate my emotions from sex. Carnal activities to me were very distinguishable from emotional activities. Being with my ex changed my perspective on that and at the moment, sex is tied with emotions and I can’t untangle them.

Is it not as if I have lost my sexual drive/desires. If that were the case, I would have found a way to get my groove back. But since my sexual libido is still intact, nothing should stop me right… I told one of my best friends that I had reached my sexual peak and its all down hill from here. She laughed hysterically and stated that I must be “smoking some weird shit”.


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