Earlier this month, I celebrated my 24th birthday and it dawned on me that I’m one year away from my quarter life crisis. Can you imagine! I will start getting wrinkles soon. The horror!!!
Anyway, turning 24, I realised I have achieved many things in my life that some people haven’t had the chance to do. I am eternally grateful for all the people who have helped me reach this point. Not to blow my own horn but I have a Bachelor’s Degree and a Master’s Degree from two world renowned universities and have some of the most amazing friends a person could ask for. So what is next in my life? Well I have a new job and will be relocating to a new country later this year (more on that later). It appears my life is going on pretty well but I can’t help but feel that I’m missing something…
Throughout this blog I have written that I am perfectly fine being single but recently I have noticed that while I am content with where I am, I want to share it with someone. Its been almost a year since my last “relationship” and also its has been a over a year since I had sex. Since I have sworn off casual sex and hookups, I refuse to have sex with random people. I honestly thought I can handle single life but everywhere I look, classmates are getting married or dating other people and I wonder why not me?. Three of my best friends are as single like me but deep down we all have this longing to date other people and be in relationships.
It wasn’t as bad in previous months as I was looking for jobs and trying to pay of my credit card debts but now that I’ve secured a job and paid off all my credit card debt (educational loans are still ongoing), I just feel that there’s something missing. I know its sounds very cliched but that’s how I feel at the moment. I know I can occupy my time with other things like improving my German or learning a new skill but till what end? People often say than we shouldn’t look for relationship and that it will happen when we least expect it. I don’t necessarily believe that.
To make things worse, I have a major crush on someone and he’s always on my mind. My friends say I should ask him out but its complicated…. and with me moving to a different country and I don’t want to start something and just abruptly end it. With this guy it could potentially work but I don’t his thoughts on long distance relationships. I’ve never been in a long distance relationship and I know I can handle it if I establish an emotional connection with the person.
I also don’t want to rush into a relationship just because everyone is in one. I just know I want someone who is a friend and a lover (another cliched statement! Why is my life turning into a series of cliches..). I know I can hook up with people to satisfy any sexual urges I have but hookups have become increasingly passe to me and as one can discern from this blog, I’ve had loads of sex as a youngin…so it doesn’t excite me anymore. I would rather have that one person with whom I can be very intimate with.
Whats a guy to do now? Who knew turning 24 would make my life so “dramatic”. I think I see the wrinkles already forming on my forehead. Le sigh..