It’s always fascinating to think that I always thought I will end up with a broken heart and be inconsolable. So imagine my surprise when I was the one who ended things with a someone who I could see myself having a great future with?
In one of my posts from the summer (see post), I wrote about how I had met the Banker and we were starting a relationship. Initially, things were going on well and we both couldn’t get enough of each other (sounds very clichéd). He was a very good cuddler and he had a knack to make me laugh uncontrollably. Funny thing is that I wasn’t in love with him but I could see my self falling for him as the days went by.
So what went wrong?
I don’t think it necessary for me to give the intricate details about what went wrong. The main gist is that I realised I can’t be with someone who doesn’t see me as a priority. I don’t even have to be the number one priority just be a top 5 priority. Anytime I approached him about the issue, he will say that I was in his top priority or he would make a work excuse (usually a work related one. mind you he’s a workaholic).
After a while I got tired of his excuses and told him to re-evaluate his priorities. I told him I need a break from him. He didn’t seem to want to even fight for me. All he said was “it that’s what you want”. I could sense he was angry but he just left it at that.
After I ended things with him, I began to miss him and how he would tease me and all the plans we had made for New Year. Sometimes I would get the urge to message him but I will resisted the urge to do so. I caved in during (C)Hanukkah since he was Jewish after all. I wished him a happy (C)Hanukkah and he replied with “Thank You”.
Life went on as usual except for the fact that I began to miss him terribly and I would have dreams and sometimes premonitions of him and I being together. It also didn’t help that everywhere I went all I saw were couples.
On New Years Eve, I let my emotions get the best of me and I messaged him telling him how I currently felt, asked if we can be friends and wishing him a Happy New Year. We had plans to go on a romantic getaway for New Years and I believe he booked it when we were together. He hasn’t responded to my message so it appears he has probably moved on.
I didn’t expect him to sit there and wait for me. I reckon what guttered me the most is that he doesn’t want to be friends with me. I mean I did end what we have after all.
Do I regret ending things with him? Absolutely Not
Do I miss him? Yes.
Do I want to get back with him? Well, it depends
Him not responding to my message is a strong indication that he has moved on and obviously doesn’t want to be friends.