Where Does My Heart Beat Now

It’s always funny (perhaps mysterious) how life works. In my previous post, I wrote about how I needed some kind of distractions to take my mind off studying and I got what I asked for. I often tell my friends that they need to say positive things to nature and once they do, they can sit back and let nature do it’s thing so they can see whatever they said manifest. Maybe be its time for me to heed to my own advice. So I went on 3 dates since my last post…

As I have mentioned previously on this blog, I have a premium gaydar account and I tweaked my profile so reduce the amount of sex requests I get. Since doing that, I get messages from guys who claim its nice to come across a someone who’s profile is actually interesting. I received a message from a “faceless” profile and the person behind said profile unlocked his face picture after several conversations back and forth. He finally asked me out on date and I agreed figuring that whats there to loose, beside a get a free lunch and drink. We meet at a Cuban restaurant not far from my campus for the date and he said I was taller than I look in my pictures. As the date progressed, he told me he was a professor and I wondered if he was a professor from my school as his field was similar to what I’m studying. He saw the look on my face and laughed. He went on to inform me that he is a professor at a university some where far from London. He comes to London for consulting meetings as he is also an educational consultant. I had a pleasant time on the date and we walked around for a bit and he invited me over to his place and I happily said yes…

In my previous post, I stated that I wasn’t going to hook up with anyone anytime soon. So why didn’t I say no. Well he was too handsome for me to say no and I enjoyed talking to him. We continued to talk when we got to his place and we made out for quite sometime. I was tempted to just hook up with him (his body was  amazing and he was very well endowed. I mean it like it was hu.. well you get the point) but luckily I was able to resist the temptation and said no. He didn’t mind and we continued to chat and cuddle on the couch. After talking to him, I realised he is the kind of person who’s looking for fun and if I had hooked up with him it would have been a one time affair. I’m glad I didn’t. At the end of our date he walked me to the tube station and I think he was expecting a good bye kiss but I gave him a hug instead as I’m not too keen on public display of affections. He messaged when I got home and said he had a good time. I replied back with the same sentiment. Since he didn’t say we would go on a second date, I thought that was the end of it but he messages me regularly and asks me what I’m up to and updates me on his life. I don’t know if I should “read” into his messages and just assume I made a friend. I need some kind of hint but I guess time will tell.

My second date was with a software engineer/application developer for the BBC. He made be a beta tester for some upcoming BBC apps. He asked me out for drinks and I said yes (I never turn down free drinks). When he arrived, it looked like he just rolled out of bed.  He didn’t even dress up for the date (strike one) but we had exciting conversations and he promised to sneak me into the BBC News Studio at Western House. While the date was okay, he kept mentioning that all men are promiscuous and that he doesn’t know why people are monogamous. He also kept on inviting me over to his flat which was literally a few steps away from the pub. I kept saying no and he kept telling about all the exotic whiskey and drinks he had that we could try (strike two). I said goodbye to him after the date with a handshake (I almost never use handshakes as a form of goodbyes). After the date, he continued to send me flirtatious messages but after a few days I told him I was about to go exclusive someone else so we can still be drinking buddies since we are both pseudo beer connoisseurs. He didn’t respond that message and he only contacts me when its time to update apps or he needs feedback on certain apps. I reckon I wont be having beers with him anytime soon.

My third date was this past sunday with a very cute Polish guy. He was a former lecturer in Warsaw and recently completed two Master’s degrees here in London. We meet up for drinks in Soho and stayed till about 10pm. He was an interesting company to say the least. He’s been in a relationship ever since he came out and his last relationship was 5 years long and it was with an American (it ended pretty badly). Interestingly he hasn’t been in the U.S. at all. He kept saying he thought I was older and I had to keep reminding him that I was only 22. I’ve often been told that I’m mature for my age compared to my peers. I got the feeling that if I was a bit older (say 25) and had been in a relationship before he wouldn’t have hesitated to say that he liked me and wanted to go steady. He’s only 31 years so he’s only 9 years older. (the professor was 40 and the software engineer was 39). He was genuinely surprised I hadn’t been in a relationship before as he had his first boyfriend when he was 17. I think that scared him a little bit and we talked alot during the date and we had similar interests and had the same perspectives on monogamy, trust and healthy emotional relationships. Towards the end of the date, he said “I’m sorry to say this but I have to end the date” and I thought well that’s a shocker since everything was going so well. Colour me confused at this point as his  english was perfect but then he said he would want to go out again. We walked to the tube station together and he gave me a hug. Since I was confused, I messaged him and asked if I “scared” him, he replied saying no and that we would go for drinks again. He’s been sending one message a day since sunday asking how my day went. Earlier today, he asked if I wanted to go for a walk along River Thames sometime soon…

So how do I feel, I would say, its nice to be able to go on dates and actually get to know people and them getting to know me. Its nice not to see the lust I see in people’s eyes during dates. Also the fact I don’t have to pay for drinks is definitely a plus

2 thoughts on “Where Does My Heart Beat Now

  1. I really enjoyed reading about these. As a girl, I’m not having much luck on the straight dating scene but maybe I just need to start talking positively!!

    Good luck with your future dates!

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