Brother to Brother

Me: “Hey mum, you think you can have one more kid, I kinda want a brother”
Mum: “Are you crazy?. First of all, you are all the way in London and who’s going to take care of this child. Your sister is no help and I’m too old to have another child.”
Me: “You are not that old? Besides you can hire a nanny. You know create employment and all. Also its time you found yourself a new man. You don’t have to marry him. He can be like your permanent boyfriend”
Mum: “Are you serious?”

The above dialog was a part of a conversation I recently had with my mother over Skype. Growing up, I always wanted a brother. I wanted a younger brother who I could play with and turn him into a mini me. All my friends had younger brothers (or older brothers) and they were always playing together. I had no one save for my elder sister but she was not living with us. When my mother got pregnant, I was very excited at the thought of having younger brother. The excitement was shortlived when my mother came home with a baby girl. I absolutely hated my baby sister and only heaven knows all the malicious things I did to her when she was growing up. I was a very terrible person/brother. I blame the age difference…Fortunately, we began to get closer once I moved to college. Now we talk everyday (via facebook).

Lately, the thought of having a brother has popped up into my head again. Before I left for London, I helped my boss categorise and rearrange is home library with his 2 year old son and wife. My boss’ son became attached to me and he would cry every time I left to go home. It made me feel horrible every time he cried. During the early hours of the morning, my boss will email, stating that his son is awake asking for my whereabouts. I’m generally great with kids and I used to babysit my cousins during my summers abroad. On my last day working at my boss’ house, I was playing with his son and he said something that left me speechless. He said;
“Mommy (my name) is brother. Shokrah”. I was genuinely surprised and had to stop myself from tearing up. My boss laughed and told his son that I can be his brother. I was also fascinated by the fact that my boss’ son knew arabic. Apparently my boss teaches his son arabic. I am a sucker for bilingual/multilingual children.My boss’ wife emailed me on Friday saying her son has been asking about me and wants to know when I am coming to the house. I truly miss my little buddy. I promise to Skype call him this weekend.

Last week, I meet an Irish guy who appeared to be interested in me and we had a few nights of conversation and he mentioned that he had a son. He brought his son to our second night out and it was interesting to see a a young gay single father. His son was too cute and was always smiling in my direction (I was making silly faces). While I decided not to purse anything further with the Irish, part of me wished I did just so I can see his son again and make him smile.

All these thoughts of brothers and children makes me want to have kids but I’m too bloody young to have a child. I need to figure out my life before I can take care of another person’s life. I have told all my friends that I will be the best (gay)uncle [guncle??] to their kids.

If only my mum will just listen to my suggestion and give me a baby brother, all will be well.


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