To Date or Not to Date

Last Thursday, I had a fascinating conversation with a friend who I haven’t seen in almost 2 years. We had lunch and both mentioned how we failed at keeping in touch. As we were reminiscing, she asked that dreaded question “Why are you still single”…

I just shrugged and said “I’ve sworn off boys/men until further notice”. But she was determined to get an answer out of me. I just told her I am very non-committal and also I don’t won’t to break someone’s heart. She guffawed and said what I just spewed out was nonsense. She asserted that I was in my “prime” and need to go out and explore the world. She explicitly said;

“What are you now like 22, you need to go out and have fun because trust me once to start reaching 30, you just want to be in bed by 9:30pm”. We then had an interesting talk about being in our “primes”. She reckons since I’m in my 20’s I should go out and have as much sex as I can before I come of age.

Honestly I have no problems with being promiscuous. My sexual rendez-vous in Europe was very wild to say the least. I had sex pretty much everyday…Also since I had so much sexual adventures, I told my friend I have reached my peak and the only way to go is down. But she disagreed with me and said its too soon for me to claim that I have reached my sexual peak. But that’s the truth. The last time I hooked up was in October when I was in Washington D.C. for a conference. I wouldn’t say I have lost my sexual drive (maybe I have…) I just don’t feel like having sex. If the needs arises and well my left hand is my best friend and sometimes I just sleep it off.

Nonetheless, my friend said if I don’t want hookups, I should start dating again. We both laughed at her suggestion simply because the city (more like town) that we are located in doesn’t offer much especially if you are a person of color. I usually avoid viewing things from a racial perspective but the dating pool where I live favours people who are Caucasian or Asian. It gets even narrower in the LGBT community. After our laugh she said I should really start dating again and if I do get my heart broken, the sun will still shine the next day so I should give it a try.

Following the lunch date with my friend, my sister and her friends repeatedly said I should find myself either a British boyfriend or get married to a German man (that’s because I’m always putting Germans [I love them!!!] on a pedestal and I also avidly watched the male German gymnast during the Olympics…)

Today I was having a conversation with my co-worker and she also said its time I start dating. She wants me to explore the world of dating. She said being in love “is the best feeling”. She said I don’t have to necessarily have to fall in love but I can try to see what a monogamous relationship feels like. She also said she hopes I will be dating someone by Christmas. So that gives me about four mouths…

As I write this post, I am not really conflicted I am just scared. I am terribly scared of falling so hard for someone who may end up hurting me (or not). I am also terrified of letting my guard down for another person. Sooner or later, I am going to have give dating a chance and everyone says now is the perfect opportunity since I will be moving to London in a month. As I have frequently mentioned, there is nothing wrong with me being single. I am just not actively seeking anyone and I wouldn’t mind dating another person. I guess it is not a priority for me. My co-worker says its hard to to see “such a nice person remain single when you can share your love with another person”

Just need to find the courage from somewhere…Le sigh

Since I refuse to get back on grindr, another friend of mine wants me to set up a “dating” profile so I can “scout” the dating scene in London before I arrive. I can just change my location on my OkCupid profile to London… Sounds like a decent plan but don’t know if I am up for it yet…but then again, whats the worse thing than can happen eh?

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